picture courtesy of ClipArtBest.com
What’s outside the four walls of your mind?
Like a lot of women today, I’ve spent many years trapped behind female stereotypical roles. As time went by, I lost my personal identity and my self-belief. I blended in with many A-sexual, societal – oppressed women. I believed to ‘live right’ and ‘to-belong;’ I had to live life this way or I was abnormal. Obviously the spontaneous Gemini within, wasn’t satisfied with this!
Should I fight back at society as an angry abused human being was one choice but my mind took over; consequentially it shut down. Suicide, anti-depressants, counselling, another toxic relationship, diet, exercise and education, were the only choices ahead of me. I tried them all.
I went back to school and learnt a little about history, patriarchy, genealogy, psychology, parenting, gender roles, language and humour. Like a cat, that doesn’t get hit whilst it crosses the road, I’d learnt that what confused who ‘me’ actually was, had been conditioned into me, by my peers and my society. It dictated my ‘me-time’ with myself.
Of course, busyness, drugs and alcohol were ways of avoiding myself but a new presence came into being. ………………………………Love……………………………………………..
I felt love, not love for another, but love for myself.
Like ET – I saw myself as unique. I was a creature that needed watering, taking care of and given the right ‘foods’ to sustain me throughout harsh times.
I looked back into history and discovered that men have made up most of our society’s rules today for women.
It was less than one hundred years ago that women were allowed to speak up in society. In 1918 after many social battles women were given the vote, by men. Older, educational books were written by men. All our literary idols, are mostly men. Our government and world leaders today are mostly male.[i] We have stereotypical gender roles installed into us, from the colours pink and blue to images on tv, magazine, etc. Images and people install beliefs into us, ‘You’ll never be any good!’ Ra-ra-ra. This affects us psychologically until it is revealed.
Parenting, dictates our acceptance levels to love and to trust and if this was dysfunctional in your early learning years you will have to re-learn. [ii] Once you have learnt, you can pass this down to your own kin and break the cycle of abuse forever[iii] and inject love with respect in its place.
So what is outside the four walls of your mind?
Love, self-belief, acceptance and adventure.
I am a satirical author and have written three novels which I am now releasing into the big wide world. Slut Detox is my first and it is free on this blog page. Slap Dash Queen is coming soon, then Office Gossip. I am now in the process of writing – Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf. These are all powerful novels with an edge of Self Development lessons, running through their veins.
Check out my website for details. I would love to have some feedback, please leave a like or a comment.
Slut Detox the novel is available at amazon.co.uk
I ran away from everything I knew, to run right into myself. Boy, was I in for a shock; because what I found was beautiful beyond description. I’d spent a lifetime believing their lies. I’d embodied their curses and most of all, I had understood their prophesies for my future. On Gran Canarias, I scratched through the embers of self-esteem that I had left. I re-lived my darkest memories and gave myself permission to put the blame, where it should have always, rightly been. Ok, I am a surgically enhanced attractive woman. I was alone on an erotic paradise island and I confess, I only had seven days to pack in as much fun as I could. Before you judge me, read along and see how I tried to integrate an ex-call girl into the headspace of a beautiful young mother. Did I succeed? You can be my judge.